Todd and I completed an "Infant Care Basics for Adoptive Parents" class at Grant Hospital on Saturday. It was very informative, and it reassured us that the things we have been discussing and reading are in fact correct. We realize that everyone will have opinions, but we will do what we feel is right for us and our baby.
The class was 3 hours and included some great tips for diapering, bathing, feeding, and basic development. Our instructor, Julie Janson, was amazing, and has adopted 2 children herself. In fact, she even works with Adpotion Circle, the agency here in Columbus that we might have do our home study.
We still have to take the Infant and Child CPR class, that is coming up in January. We did learn that we have to have a fire inspection done. Todd found the form online, it is about $85 to have the inspection done. It will be good piece of mind to know that our home is safe.
Monday, December 8, 2008
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Here he is!
Presenting Baby Boy Felumlee-Deans. For those of you wanting to know the name you will just have to wait. There has to be SOME surprises left!
See the cross hairs? Look to the right... :-) we have had questions as to where "it" is. How can you miss it? OK the doctor had to point it out to me too. All I saw at first was a blobby thing flopping around, then there HE WAS.
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Surprise Ultrasound... IT'S A... !!!!!!!!
First of all, the counter is not working... all of the gadget counters that are available on Blogger are broken... for those counting as of today (December 2) we have 147 days to go. Give or take 2 weeks according to the doctor. :-)
WOW What a day... lots to tell everyone.
First, let's rewind a week. Todd and I visited the New Jersey family members for Thanksgiving. Mark's brother Matt and his girlfriend Saana were in town, so the whole Deans clan was together. We had a great time! We spent some time with Steve and Julie and Amalia. She is getting to be SO big now! We had a few chances to spend time with her throughout the week. Soon she will have a cousin to play with!
We visited Mark's cousin Bobbi Jo and her kids the day before Thanksgiving. It is always so much fun to see these 5 (yes, 5) girls and how much they have grown since the last time we saw them. The PRICELESS moment of the week was when we were all talking about the baby... and Phoebe (1st grader) paused for a moment and said "wait, which one of you will be the mom and which one will be the dad?" I laughed so hard I could barely breathe. From the mouths of babes, as they say. BJ explained that the baby would have 2 dads. Phobe just said "Oh..."
Now, the really big news. We went to the clinic today for Britnei's regular appointment. Things are progressing nicely, though Britnei gained 10 lbs since the last appointment. It is not what she weighs that they are most concerned about, it is the rate at which she gained it. We will have to keep on her about this. She gets mad when they lecture her, I am sure. The blood tests that were done last time all came back negative. They check for Downs, and indicators of other birth defects.
We asked about when they might do another ultrasound. The doctor said they don't typically do one just to determine the sex, but we would likely do one at week 24 or 28. She told us that even then, the sex may not be clearly visible. She told us we would just have to wait.
Britnei and I were ready to go, Ricky (the driver) was out picking up someone else, and Britnei would have to wait for a while. I told them I could take her to school. The doctor smiled and said "Since you are being so nice let me do you a favor, come back to the other room" and she did a quick ultrasound.
Almost immediately after putting the sensor on her belly the doctor said "Britnei, you are having a boy.... no doubt about it." She went from different angles, and each time she just giggled and said "BOY BOY BOY"
So... IT'S A BOY! Seeing his little head, spine, hands, feet was the most amazing thing I have ever seen. I can't wait for more
WOW What a day... lots to tell everyone.
First, let's rewind a week. Todd and I visited the New Jersey family members for Thanksgiving. Mark's brother Matt and his girlfriend Saana were in town, so the whole Deans clan was together. We had a great time! We spent some time with Steve and Julie and Amalia. She is getting to be SO big now! We had a few chances to spend time with her throughout the week. Soon she will have a cousin to play with!
We visited Mark's cousin Bobbi Jo and her kids the day before Thanksgiving. It is always so much fun to see these 5 (yes, 5) girls and how much they have grown since the last time we saw them. The PRICELESS moment of the week was when we were all talking about the baby... and Phoebe (1st grader) paused for a moment and said "wait, which one of you will be the mom and which one will be the dad?" I laughed so hard I could barely breathe. From the mouths of babes, as they say. BJ explained that the baby would have 2 dads. Phobe just said "Oh..."
Now, the really big news. We went to the clinic today for Britnei's regular appointment. Things are progressing nicely, though Britnei gained 10 lbs since the last appointment. It is not what she weighs that they are most concerned about, it is the rate at which she gained it. We will have to keep on her about this. She gets mad when they lecture her, I am sure. The blood tests that were done last time all came back negative. They check for Downs, and indicators of other birth defects.
We asked about when they might do another ultrasound. The doctor said they don't typically do one just to determine the sex, but we would likely do one at week 24 or 28. She told us that even then, the sex may not be clearly visible. She told us we would just have to wait.
Britnei and I were ready to go, Ricky (the driver) was out picking up someone else, and Britnei would have to wait for a while. I told them I could take her to school. The doctor smiled and said "Since you are being so nice let me do you a favor, come back to the other room" and she did a quick ultrasound.
Almost immediately after putting the sensor on her belly the doctor said "Britnei, you are having a boy.... no doubt about it." She went from different angles, and each time she just giggled and said "BOY BOY BOY"
So... IT'S A BOY! Seeing his little head, spine, hands, feet was the most amazing thing I have ever seen. I can't wait for more
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Happy Thanksgiving!
Hey everyone, no updates on the baby exactly, just wanted to wish everyone a happy Thanksgiving. I realized today that this is our last holiday season without a 'little one' to share it with. It will surely be a lot different next year!
Britnei has an OB appointment on 12/2/2008 so expect an update that afternoon.
Britnei has an OB appointment on 12/2/2008 so expect an update that afternoon.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
The Felumlees
I completely forgot to write about some big news that happened a few weeks ago.
Todd and I were in Newark on Sunday, November 1 for Todd's parent's anniversary and their church's fall party. We took that opportunity to tell them about the baby. We also told several others in the family that happened to be at the event.
I think the best reaction was Toddd's mother. Todd said "What would you say if I told you that you were going to be a grandmother again" she said "It better not be Donnie." For those of you that don't know Donnie has 6 children.
Todd and I were in Newark on Sunday, November 1 for Todd's parent's anniversary and their church's fall party. We took that opportunity to tell them about the baby. We also told several others in the family that happened to be at the event.
I think the best reaction was Toddd's mother. Todd said "What would you say if I told you that you were going to be a grandmother again" she said "It better not be Donnie." For those of you that don't know Donnie has 6 children.
Friday, November 7, 2008
Just a quick update
Britnei and I (Mark) had an OB appointment on Tuesday. What an amazing experience, and I got to hear the HEARTBEAT! WOW That was so cool!
Britnei is doing well, she gained 6 lbs. since her last appointment. The doctor was happy to see that. She said things were going as expected, and that Britnei should keep up eating right, taking her vitamins and following the other information they have provided.
next appointment: December 2, 2008. We will be able to find out the sex of the baby then. They will not do that at the clinic, we will likely have to go to another doctor for that sonogram.
Britnei is doing well, she gained 6 lbs. since her last appointment. The doctor was happy to see that. She said things were going as expected, and that Britnei should keep up eating right, taking her vitamins and following the other information they have provided.
next appointment: December 2, 2008. We will be able to find out the sex of the baby then. They will not do that at the clinic, we will likely have to go to another doctor for that sonogram.
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Just an update
Just a few thoughts in my head tonight before I turn in...
Like the one I am having now, about how 10:45 PM will not be like it is today in 6 months...
Good news- RWD (Mark's company) is offering domestic partner benefits. This certainly helps our family out, and will allow Todd to take time away from working (at least 6 weeks, possibly more) to start raising the baby.
Britnei and Julie met with the attorney yesterday. No new information, just an opportunity for them to meet. Apparently Susan asked a lot of very specific and direct questions. I suspect that it surprised Julie and Britnei but I am sure it is typical of the questions that are asked time and time again to get as complete a family history as possible.
That's all for now, better get sleep while I can. Too bad you can't bank it and use it later.
Like the one I am having now, about how 10:45 PM will not be like it is today in 6 months...
Good news- RWD (Mark's company) is offering domestic partner benefits. This certainly helps our family out, and will allow Todd to take time away from working (at least 6 weeks, possibly more) to start raising the baby.
Britnei and Julie met with the attorney yesterday. No new information, just an opportunity for them to meet. Apparently Susan asked a lot of very specific and direct questions. I suspect that it surprised Julie and Britnei but I am sure it is typical of the questions that are asked time and time again to get as complete a family history as possible.
That's all for now, better get sleep while I can. Too bad you can't bank it and use it later.
Monday, October 27, 2008
What about the father?
OK a lot of questions have come our way about the "Birth Father" so I thougth I would post what we know.
His name is Hugo Morreno, and from what we know he was visiting Columbus from Mexico this summer. He is 19-20 years old. We have 2 pictures that Britnei was able to get for us.
Apparently he knows that Brit is expecting, but doesn't seem to care too much. We will try to get contact information for him, but I am not holding my breath for that. It may be nice in the future to have some facts about him or his family but for now this is what we have.
His name is Hugo Morreno, and from what we know he was visiting Columbus from Mexico this summer. He is 19-20 years old. We have 2 pictures that Britnei was able to get for us.
Apparently he knows that Brit is expecting, but doesn't seem to care too much. We will try to get contact information for him, but I am not holding my breath for that. It may be nice in the future to have some facts about him or his family but for now this is what we have.
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
It's Official
Well, today was a big day for sure. Todd and I met with Susan Eisenman, our adoption attorney. After an hour or so of talking and getting lots of great information, we signed the agreement to work with her and made this official.
Susan explained the adoption process to us, the major steps we must go through and made some recommendations. We will be talking with Britnei and Julie later tonight to let them know the news.
Basically right now we will just continue to make our preparations, getting our lives and our home ready for the new arrival. After the holidays we will start with the home study process and Britnei will meet with an Adoption Assessor, a specially trained social worker to help her understand the process and prepare for the birth and hospital process.
The biggest event today is that we are now telling people. I called my brothers and sister-in-law, and we will start trickling the news. This blog will be sent to everyone so they may keep in touch with what is going on with the process.
Susan explained the adoption process to us, the major steps we must go through and made some recommendations. We will be talking with Britnei and Julie later tonight to let them know the news.
Basically right now we will just continue to make our preparations, getting our lives and our home ready for the new arrival. After the holidays we will start with the home study process and Britnei will meet with an Adoption Assessor, a specially trained social worker to help her understand the process and prepare for the birth and hospital process.
The biggest event today is that we are now telling people. I called my brothers and sister-in-law, and we will start trickling the news. This blog will be sent to everyone so they may keep in touch with what is going on with the process.
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Soccer Daddies
Yesterday we bought a new (used) car... much more baby friendly. We got a 2004 Jeep Grand Cherokee Limited. Talk about nice! It will be good to have a 4x4 and the extra space is great.
It is in great shape and runs like a beast! OK, it is a V8 so the mileage probably won't be great, but we will use the Focus as our primary distance vehicle.
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Pickle Pops!
If you read a few posts earlier we referred to the baby as "Pickle" and may wonder why.
Britnei has been craving pickles and pickle juice, lots of it. We joked that the baby was going to come out pickled, and we started calling it "Pickle" of course.
Todd found a company that sells pickle pops-- Bob's Pickle Pops. He had a case of pops sent to Britnei this week. She is set for the rest of the pregnancy for sure.
Monday, September 15, 2008
Grammie and Pop-Pop Know- and Advice from Friends
Last night was a big milestone for us. We called Mark's parents and told them our plans. It was nerve wracking! We were excited to tell them, nervous about their reactions, and overwhelmed with the emotions of the situation. We think they were surprised by the news, but sound very excited and supportive. We both know we can't progress without the love and support of everyone in our families to make this happen.
We spent the earlier part of the evening with our friends Ray and Matt. They adopted two children (Jenny and Aaron) a few years ago. We saw them when the kids arrived, but it was great to see them in their home and in their 'natural habitat' as it were. Ray and Matt gave us some great advice and helped us solidify our desire to do this. Having a family is what we really want in our lives. That we know!
OH! We went to Babies 'R Us today-- talk about overwhelmed. We have certainly opened the door to a whole new world!
We spent the earlier part of the evening with our friends Ray and Matt. They adopted two children (Jenny and Aaron) a few years ago. We saw them when the kids arrived, but it was great to see them in their home and in their 'natural habitat' as it were. Ray and Matt gave us some great advice and helped us solidify our desire to do this. Having a family is what we really want in our lives. That we know!
OH! We went to Babies 'R Us today-- talk about overwhelmed. We have certainly opened the door to a whole new world!
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Britnei First Appointment
An update on Britnei's first appointment with the OB/GYN, from Julie. By the way the attorney that the doctor recommended is the one we have already contacted! Talk about coincidence!
Britnei's appointment went well. The mobile unit is pretty cool - it's an office inside of something that looks like a semi-tractor-trailer. We met with the Dietitian first thing. She wants to make sure Britnei stays within 25-35 pounds of gaining weight. Lorin, the nurse took her vitals and her blood pressure and heart rate are of normal range. Dr. Michelle Morris came in and did the ultra-sound and we saw Pickle as a little sack within a sack and then she was able to zoom in and we saw the heart beat. It was really cool to see Pickle. She said 'all is healthy'. The ultra sound put Britnei at 7 weeks, 4 days so the due date is 04/24/2009. Dr. Morris then did a pap test and then Lorin came back in and took blood. Unfortunately, Britnei doesn't not do well with them taking blood so she felt nauseous. We then met with the social worker and everything on that avenue is fine. We got her a prescription for her prenatal vitamins that she'll only have to take once a day, preferably in the evening before bed.
Her next appointment is scheduled for 8:30 a.m. on Tuesday, October 7th. They will pick her up at home and take her to the mobile unit that will be at Brookhaven High School. They will take her to school thereafter. I asked if either one of you can come to any of the appointments and they said that one person can meet Britnei there at the mobile unit. They will listen for Pickle's heartbeat at the next appointment and all of them going forward. I do not need to be there, but will only go if either the two of you cannot make it. Let me know what you decide - Britnei does want someone there with her.
As far as the ultra sound - the only one they plan on performing is the one today. I have the pictures, but it's too dark to scan to send over (already tried). I will make sure that they are safe until we see each other again. So - Todd - you get your wish in not knowing what the gender is because, as Lorin put it, 'we won't do a peeksy just to see the gender of the child'. I, of course, promote that but it will be a challenge for the baby's room (I sense a Disney theme going on possibly).
The staff has been told about the two of you. Dr. Morris - since she adopted two of her five children - asked if we had an attorney. I told her that the two of you were seeking out referrals so she also gave me an attorney name - Thomas Taneff. She said he's been an adoption attorney for 20 years and was his attorney.
I think that's it. If I left anything out, I'll let you know but I'm pretty sure I captured everything.
One step closer.
Britnei's appointment went well. The mobile unit is pretty cool - it's an office inside of something that looks like a semi-tractor-trailer. We met with the Dietitian first thing. She wants to make sure Britnei stays within 25-35 pounds of gaining weight. Lorin, the nurse took her vitals and her blood pressure and heart rate are of normal range. Dr. Michelle Morris came in and did the ultra-sound and we saw Pickle as a little sack within a sack and then she was able to zoom in and we saw the heart beat. It was really cool to see Pickle. She said 'all is healthy'. The ultra sound put Britnei at 7 weeks, 4 days so the due date is 04/24/2009. Dr. Morris then did a pap test and then Lorin came back in and took blood. Unfortunately, Britnei doesn't not do well with them taking blood so she felt nauseous. We then met with the social worker and everything on that avenue is fine. We got her a prescription for her prenatal vitamins that she'll only have to take once a day, preferably in the evening before bed.
Her next appointment is scheduled for 8:30 a.m. on Tuesday, October 7th. They will pick her up at home and take her to the mobile unit that will be at Brookhaven High School. They will take her to school thereafter. I asked if either one of you can come to any of the appointments and they said that one person can meet Britnei there at the mobile unit. They will listen for Pickle's heartbeat at the next appointment and all of them going forward. I do not need to be there, but will only go if either the two of you cannot make it. Let me know what you decide - Britnei does want someone there with her.
As far as the ultra sound - the only one they plan on performing is the one today. I have the pictures, but it's too dark to scan to send over (already tried). I will make sure that they are safe until we see each other again. So - Todd - you get your wish in not knowing what the gender is because, as Lorin put it, 'we won't do a peeksy just to see the gender of the child'. I, of course, promote that but it will be a challenge for the baby's room (I sense a Disney theme going on possibly).
The staff has been told about the two of you. Dr. Morris - since she adopted two of her five children - asked if we had an attorney. I told her that the two of you were seeking out referrals so she also gave me an attorney name - Thomas Taneff. She said he's been an adoption attorney for 20 years and was his attorney.
I think that's it. If I left anything out, I'll let you know but I'm pretty sure I captured everything.
One step closer.
About this Blog
I am Mark, and my partner is Todd. We are creating this blog as a means to document and communicate with the world as we take on the process of adpoption. We hope that this site helps our families and friends keep in touch with us, and provides us both with a way to document what will surely be an amazing journey.
Being parents is something that we have talked about for a very long time. I think we both knew from an early age that we wanted to be fathers, but that did not seem easily attainable. We both knew that the effort and expense would be well worth it, but we were both hesitant to take on such a monumentous undertaking. We read books, talked to friends and always kept the thougths in the back of our mind.
Last week (Friday, September 4) we got a call from Julie, a long time friend of Todd's. She let us know that her 17 year old daughter Britnei is pregnant. She had already made up her mind that she wanted to put the baby up for adoption. This was going to be very hard for Julie, as she would have a hard time knowing her grandchild was in the world somewhere, and not know the kind of life it was leading. Todd said "Would Britnei consider Mark and I as parents?" That's all it took.
We are now looking into the right attorney to help out, making sure that Britnei and the baby are taken care of and that we all understand how this new extended family will work. Todd and I are blessed to have Julie as an active partner in this go forward. We know that we can't do this without her. Britnei is making a wonderful sacrifice and realizes that this is what is best for the baby. At some point we all know that the baby will know her as the biological mother, and Julie will always be Grandma Julie. We will figure out the rest as it unfolds.
Being parents is something that we have talked about for a very long time. I think we both knew from an early age that we wanted to be fathers, but that did not seem easily attainable. We both knew that the effort and expense would be well worth it, but we were both hesitant to take on such a monumentous undertaking. We read books, talked to friends and always kept the thougths in the back of our mind.
Last week (Friday, September 4) we got a call from Julie, a long time friend of Todd's. She let us know that her 17 year old daughter Britnei is pregnant. She had already made up her mind that she wanted to put the baby up for adoption. This was going to be very hard for Julie, as she would have a hard time knowing her grandchild was in the world somewhere, and not know the kind of life it was leading. Todd said "Would Britnei consider Mark and I as parents?" That's all it took.
We are now looking into the right attorney to help out, making sure that Britnei and the baby are taken care of and that we all understand how this new extended family will work. Todd and I are blessed to have Julie as an active partner in this go forward. We know that we can't do this without her. Britnei is making a wonderful sacrifice and realizes that this is what is best for the baby. At some point we all know that the baby will know her as the biological mother, and Julie will always be Grandma Julie. We will figure out the rest as it unfolds.
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